


Rancid

by bisexualreina



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Domestic Fox Mulder/Dana Scully, F/M, Food Poisoning, scully and mulder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-27
Updated: 2020-10-27
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:27:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27224230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bisexualreina/pseuds/bisexualreina
Summary: Mulder and Scully get food poisoning
Relationships: Fox Mulder & Dana Scully, Fox Mulder/Dana Scully
Comments: 4
Kudos: 45





	Rancid

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger warning: vomiting, food poisoning, bodily functions

Scully never wanted to fall into stereotypes, especially when it came to domestic life with Mulder, however the cooking naturally fell to her. She loved to cook, her vegan recipe book growing and growing with each year that she had switched lifestyles following her cancer remission as a young woman. She had taken a break, her pregnancies requiring a little more sustenance than her veggie stir fry and tofu cubes following blood losses, placental abruptions, and may other health scares that she had with growing two children nearly seventeen years apart.

However with a teething baby who only wanted to be in Scully’s arms or attached to her breast to soothe herself, she was in no mood to cook a full meal for herself and Mulder. However, trusting Mulder, the man who ate evidence off dirty warehouse floors, seemed to be an even bigger mistake than just dealing with a screaming baby.

Her stomach was in knots and being up every hour with her head in the toilet or garbage can seemed to be a steep price to pay for dinner. She had offered over and over to order out, for the both of them to just relax while the baby tried to get through two teeth, but he had insisted, stubborn ass, and of course he had been fine after consuming his bowl of macaroni and cheese and was sleeping soundly. He had come in a few times to pull her hair back and offer her some water, but she had grumpily waved him away and urged him to tend to their screaming child and to leave her be, frustrated that his lack of attention towards expiration dates had landed her here.

In all her time with Mulder she had never thrown up like this in front of him, even with all the treatments, morning sickness, and flu viruses, he had never been present for the horrendously vulnerable moments hovering over the basin. There was something just so incredibly primal and horrendous about the whole notion, and normally she thanked her lucky stars that he wasn’t present to hear any of it, until now.

This was different, they were life partners, homeowners, and parents together in it for the long haul. They may not have been bound through Holy Matrimony, but they had proved time and time again that sickness and health was something they had vowed to upkeep during their life together. They figured marriage might come into play at some point, but at this moment Dana Scully wanted to be nowhere near Mulder out of pure annoyance and irritation.

She was exhausted, even the acts of bringing both William and then Evelyn into the world seemed less draining than this in the moment. Following that she had been rushed with oxytocin, made to forget the exhaustion and pain, but this was just pure misery. How dare cheese repay her in such a way.

She groaned and dragged her limp body towards the sink, slowly pulling herself up to lean on the counter to gather her balance with a weak moan. She called out for him, unsure that she’d make it to the bed in one peace, but when she poked her head out, the sight of him sleeping with their infant on his chest made her reluctant to disturb him, or more importantly their daughter who was so keen on refusing sleep.

She grumbled and slid under the covers, sliding onto her side and taking slow, steady breaths to try and soothe her stomach, reaching over for the can of ginger ale that Mulder had gotten for her to sip on. Her eyelids felt heavy for sleep but the ache in her stomach still kept her coherent enough as she tried to nap.

Mulder shifted slightly and acknowledged her presence, leaning to reach for her, but she swiftly smacked him away, refusing his touch once she sensed it.

“Let me sleep, Mulder.” She grumbled, feeling him shrink away bashfully, he knew she was a crank when she felt unwell, but this was a new level that he had never seen or experienced before.

Another turn of her stomach caused her to groan and this time just reach for the bin, leaning over the side of the bed to vomit, her head feeling like it would combust as she struggled to get the nonexistent contents out of her stomach out and into the bin.

She felt a dip in the mattress and a hand grazing the back of her sweaty shirt, causing her to flinch away and groan, but the tapping continued even after she finished, gasping heavily in annoyance.

“Fuck! What is it Mulder?” She demanded angrily, but the wide-eyed expression on his face caught her off guard, sweat trailing down his temples as he shuddered in his spot.

“Scully take the baby.” He groaned urgently, his tone making her dig up any remaining strength to pull their baby off of his chest and beside her in the bed, watching him gasp one more time before sliding off of the mattress.

“Oh GOD- fuck!” He groaned, the urgency causing Scully to scoot up to her elbows as he tried to slither out of her sight.

“Mulder- what is it?” She shuddered, but by the manner he seemed to be backing into their hall bathroom, she suddenly came to a harsh realization. She poked her head over the covers that he had pushed away and gasped, half in disgust, the other half in hilarious exasperation, she hadn’t been expecting _that_.

“Mulder…” She cried, managing to get Evelyn to her bassinet that they still hadn’t folded back up beside their bed. He just grunted in fear and urged her to keep back, horrified that at his age this is what she had witnessed from him.

In his mind as they aged from the doe-eyed agents to active adults, he prayed that Scully still saw him as the young, capable man who would run lap after lap whenever he got the chance, still fit enough to impress her with his stamina, amongst other things.

But this was a whole other level of himself that he refused to let Dana Scully see. It may have been unfair, he had seen her in what _she_ deemed “unsettling” lights, the birth of their child, the bedhead that she would sport before her first cup of coffee, the “unflattering” aftermath when Evelyn had been born, and how he had to beg to print just a few photos of those moments for the sheer memories of that important day. However something like this felt horrifying, and he didn’t know if any of what he had witnessed came even close to what had just happened.

“Mulder…did you shit yourself…?” Scully breathed as she stumbled into the bathroom, trying her hardest to hold back her laughter as he hunched over on the toilet, his head in his hands while groaning.

“Scully- wait outside! Don’t look at the bed, just-! Fuck - what is happening!” He shouted, but Scully just raised a finger to her lips in chastisement, she’d be damned if their own illnesses woke their baby.

“You didn’t throw out the cheese like I told you to and now look-!” Scully snapped, groaning before gripping onto the sink, taking some deep breaths to calm the flipping of her stomach.

“You said that you bought new cheese and I thought it was that one!” He cried, Scully now hurling into the sink, the water running to try and mask it the horrendous sound.

“Fine- it was both of us!” Scully gasped, cupping some of the water into her mouth before turning to face Mulder who just wiped the sweat off of his brow.

“The good thing is, Evie doesn’t have it- you didn’t give her any…did you?” Scully demanded, taking shaky breaths to keep her composure, not in the mood to clean up any vomit from the floor, knowing what waited for them in their bedroom.

“No…she only wants your milk Scully, plus I’m not an idiot I know not to give our _baby_ solid food!” He groaned, hurt that she’d assume that he’d be so careless with their child. Scully just grumbled and dug through the cabinets for something to subdue her nausea, and maybe a TUMS or ammonium for her partner, but could only find some Advil and a package of TUMS from years before.

“Scully, I have to be dying- something isn’t right…” Mulder warned from the toilet, but she just managed a roll of her eyes before passing him the chalky tablets before searching tiredly for some Pepto for the both of them.

“You’re not dying, Mulder, you have horrible diarrhea that we have to deal with soon so we don’t have to drop tons of money for new bed.” Scully grumbled, fetching the wastebasket from the hall and sinking to the floor, her clammy back pressed against the cool wall to prop her up, or else she would surely fall over and never get up ever again.

“How is it that I have had two of your children and somehow I am only getting the nausea when I’m not pregnant with either of them.” She complained, her eyes now falling shut as she tried to rest.

The silence caused her to glance over in suspicion, Mulder staring tiredly in her direction, causing her to narrow her eyes until the churning of his stomach gripped his attention, making him groan in discomfort.

“Why were you staring?” Scully cried, brushing a rogue hair from her forehead behind her ear, gasping tiredly as she leaned forward to hug the bin, gagging for a few moments before relaxing back, her body finally telling her that she had retched out most of the rancid ingredient, taking pity on her.

“I think I’m done.” She gasped, crawling to her hands and knees to work herself up to a standing position, taking a long look in the mirror. She was pale and clammy, as if someone had once again sucked the life out of her. Deep purple bags hung below her eyes, paired with her long hair tied up into a messy knot behind her head. She rarely thought back to her time spent in the hospital when she was a younger woman, the cancer that had plagued her, and how her reflection seemed so haunting. She didn’t resemble her past cancer ridden self, but she did look sick, and she hated that feeling.

“I was staring because I don’t get it, even while being so sick, you’re still the most beautiful woman on this planet.” Mulder shuddered, but Scully just glared and rinsed her mouth, not in any mood to be patronized.

“Stop it, Mulder that isn’t nice.” She frowned, but he shook his head at her and yearned to reach out and embrace her, but being trapped on the toilet while his insides exploded out of his ass seemed to be less than romantic.

“Scully I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t mean it. If I had the energy I’d do you right here right now.” He winked, but she just wrinkled her nose and switched on the air vent above him.

“And a shower.” She called, hobbling back to their room where she was pleasantly surprised to find that their bed wasn’t in as big of a mess as she had expected. She inhaled and held her breath as she pulled the sheets and stripped the bed, even the cases off of the pillows before dragging towards the laundry room down the hall. 

She poured the bleach and heavy soap into the barrel along with all of the contents, turning the machine onto the sanitize setting. Mulder had been so damn lucky, but apparently his pants hadn’t been, but she’d let him throw those out, refusing to step anywhere near the crumpled pile in the bathroom.

She could hear their baby stirring, the sound no longer making her wince, she was up for the night and had little intention of falling into any kind of peaceful sleep. 

“I got her.” She called, convinced he wasn’t moving any time soon as she shuffled into their bedroom where their angry daughter was fussing from being ignored, instantly clinging to Scully’s clammy chest. She settled onto the bed, somewhat worried that her weak arms wouldn’t be reliable enough to hold their baby. 

She breathed a slow sigh to try and center herself and soothe the cramping of her stomach, afraid that one wrong hitch would have her retching all over the stripped bed.

“Scully- my ass, it’s not going to survive this! Jesus Christ!” She could hear Mulder moaning, but as she just finished healing from her own bodily ailments caused by his genetically large head passed down to their daughter, she just managed a _“sorry”_ in response.

She took another breath and set the baby onto the mattress, her wails just having to exist for a moment while she barricaded her with the pillows, shuffling into their master bathroom to look for more medicine. To her ultimate shock and relief she found the medication they needed, eagerly swallowing the anti-nausea medicine, popping two packets of the immodeum out for her partner who was struggling.

She shuffled as fast as her weak legs could carry her, leaning her body against the door as she popped the capsules from their foil container into her hand, passing them over to Mulder who eagerly swallowed them and leaned forward, resting his head against her.

“I think my asshole broke.” He muttered, the urgency gone as he tiredly yawned against the soft material of her shirt, her hand dropping to his hair as he slowly regained some composure, the ache in his insides lessening as he carefully sat up straighter.

“Before you come back to bed, please shower.” Scully requested urgently, taking the lid off of the mouthwash to swish around in her mouth before popping a pill into her own mouth that would hopefully ease her stomach. Mulder agreed tiredly and shooed her out, both of them eager to clean themselves up and hopefully get some decent sleep.

…

Their bed had been covered with an old, scratchy sheet that Scully had no issue with tossing if either of them began to act up for the remainder of the night, but for the meantime it felt nice to just be lying down and resting. She had tossed the duvet off and settled for another cotton sheet that allowed sufficient air through, her body turned inward with their baby sleeping soundly. The dip in the bed causing an eye to open and stare forward and her exhausted yet bashful partner who had climbed onto his side.

“I’ll tell you what, I can cook and help Evie with her math homework, and kill all the spiders.” Scully began, her voice even as she took gentle breaths to keep herself calm enough to drift off after this conversation.

“If, you clean the vomit, flush their goldfish, and teach them how to ride a bike?” Scully bartered, both divisions of labor seeming to fit the other perfectly, seemingly uneven if the outsider viewed it, but to the both of them it was even and fair.

“Sounds good, plus I hate cooking.” Mulder joked, the comment causing Scully to clench her fist to avoid pushing him completely out of the bed, but the smirk on his face just made her shake her head and try to drift off.

“Well, good night honey bunch.” He quipped, the nickname one that he knew he could use to get under her skin but giggle over in the same breath, but this time her reaction was still as she slowly opened an eye with a knowing smirk.

“Good night, _poopyhead.”_


End file.
